Hagasama's Excellent Adventure!
by Katah
Summary: Another Random Pairings Challenge entry, this time Insector Haga and Priestess Isis. Let the crack run free.


Insector Haga. With Aishisu/Priestess Isis. I got this on the Random Pairings Challenge for Kyokou Geemu, but I couldn't help but succumb to the randomness of it all.

* * *

Heh, well, I bet you're all thinking, 'That slimy little brat! No!'. Am I right? 

Of course I'm right! I'm always right!

And, I guess you're sort of right. I've done some pretty slimy things in the past

-and probably will do some pretty slimy things in the future-

but I'm not a bad guy!

Not entirely, anyway!

Yeah, well, if I looked like Jounouchi or Kaiba, you wouldn't be so quick to insult me:P

Anyway, so I might be a bit slimy, but you **must **accept that I'm smart! With great bug-like power of intuition!

You don't? Well, listen to what I have to say first before you make any choices.

It was just a normal, happy day in the great life of Haga-sama. Haga-sama was-

Oh, fine, no Haga-sama.

I was walking to the Domino Museum to check out their new exhibit on this new breed of killer insect they've found. Well, I find it interesting, anyway:P

I walked in. The place was pretty dark, maybe it wasn't open yet. I heard someone's voice, so, using my supersonic, bug-like hearing-

Okay, okay, no more bug references. You people have no taste!

-I followed the voice. And saw this pretty girl, standing there, talking to herself.

Well, at first I thought she was talking to herself, until I noticed that there was another girl who looked like her -her twin sister…?- standing next to her, replying.

And man, was she **beautiful**! Her twin was pretty, but even though they looked the same, there was just something utterly entrancing about the other one. Because she was so pretty, I felt so inclined to listen in on what they were saying.

I admit, it took me a good five minutes to realize they were speaking a foreign language.

So, being the forward ladies man that I am, I was about to go forth and win the heart of the fair maiden before me. Until the fair maiden… disappeared?

I blinked. Cleaned my glasses. When I looked up, the first girl was standing there, looking down at me. She told me that this part of the museum was not yet open, and that I should come back in a week or so if I wished to see it. She was trying to get rid of me! I knew it!

So, trying to make conversation, I asked her who she'd been talking to.

She said no-one.

So, being the see-through-lies-cool-guy that I am, I countered 'but you were talking to your twin sister! I saw you!'

She shook her head, smiling slightly, and told me that she'd been talking on a hands-free mobile. But she had no earphones!

Temporarily pretending to accept this paltry excuse, I, Insector- no, **Inspector **Haga, leapt into action, like a g-

Oh, yeah, right, no bug references.

Anyway, I started snooping around the museum, discreetly following her. Nothing much happened, until…

Cue dramatic music!

That stupid annoying evil stupid Yuugi guy who **somehow **defeated the great Haga-sama at Duelist Kingdom showed up. Only he looked taller. Oh well.

So, I crept closer, hiding behind a statue like a crafty sp-

I miss bug references.

Then, the most incredible weird Haga-sama has been drugged thing happened. One moment there was one Yuugi and one museum owner girl -who I'd picked up was named Isis- and the next minute, there were **two**! And one was…

-swoon-

The beautiful twin sister! So I crept closer… and closer… and closer…

Until, much to my chagrin, I realized I had exposed my hiding spot.

The taller Yuugi gave me this 'you are the scum of the earth!' look :P Sheesh, they were only cards. And it's not like he didn't win the stupid tournament anyway.

We won't get into what happened after that, but suffice to say, I was unfairly ejected from the museum.

However, because of my naturally persistent nature, I decided not to give up! I was going to make the other Isis mine! No matter what!

So, risking life and limb, I sneaked back into the museum, being more careful to not get caught this time.

Ten minutes later, I was ejected.

A future advice to all would-be other Isis seducers; apparently, she is not flattered if you crawl up onto the second floor balcony in an effort to look down her top.

But, my attempt did give me some valuable insight into several matters; the other Isis wasn't Isis's twin sister, but, well, another Isis. Some kind of weirdo spirity thing…

My head hurts .

But, nevertheless, Haga-sama shall prevail! With my trusty bug knowledge, winning personality and incomparably good dress sense, she will be MINE!

…

…

Here's another bit of advice for all other Isis seducers. Don't ever go to Kaiba-Corp to seek answers about what a Sennen Item is, even if you did hear other Isis mention it. Kaiba will try to throw you out a window if you mention Sennen Items…

…even though that weird gold thing he was holding looked a lot like the necklace other Isis wears.

So, now, I shall go out, and, with my insect deck, win the heart of other Isis, by defeating her in a duel!

…

…

More advice; man, can other Isis **duel**!

So, plan D; I'll give her a tarantula spider in a jar as a token of affection!

…

…

Wow… other Isis gets weird around spiders…

**_Notes: _**_And his schemes just got stupider from there on. Sadly, Haga was never able to win the heart of the other Isis. 'Twas an event that broke his young, bug-obsessed heart, not to mention got him slapped with a restraining order. Bu he's still trying-_

I know! All I have to do is buy her a packet of chocolates! All women cave at chocolates

-however stupid his schemes may be. What's stupid about chocolate, you ask?

I didn't know other Isis was lactose intolerant… .

That's what is. And you really don't wanna hear about the time that he tried to get these fireflies to write 'I love you' in the sky because he saw it on X-Files.

Haga never quite managed to accept the fact that other Isis was seeing someone else, either, for that matter.

So, the moral of this story is; love can conquer age, time, gender, and all that crap, but only if it's reciprocated. If it's not, all it causes is… pain. And owchies. And restraining orders.


End file.
